Conan on Xbox 360, possibly the worst game ever

Conan for Xbox 360 borrows God of War-like swordplay and violence from Sony PlayStation. The hack and slash action game is based loosely on the character of Robert E. Howard novels and the films starring Arnold Schwarzenegger. But it has a few fatal flaws.

In the game you'll follow the story of Conan voiced by actor Ron Pearlman. Conan works with a band of pirates to recover some magic items that give him added powers. Each level, after fighting a boss at the end Conan gets another magic boost which adds complexity to the combat.

The combat system is very satisfying. You have multiple attacks at your disposal and the graphics are gory, providing guilty thrills as you decapitate and mutilate enemies. There is even some animated nudity as you rescue appreciative damsels in distress.

What turned me off is the movement puzzles. The game requires you maneuver through puzzles in the landscape that involve perfect timing through an obstacle course. Jump to one ledge, use B to grab another and climb, then jump to the next ledge and time your next jump perfectly because if you miss... you're back where you started having to the entire course again.

Do this puzzle enough times and you'll be ready to pull the disc from your Xbox and snap it in two before cursing its developers.

The game's problems are compounded by a fatal flaw in many games, inability to save wherever and whenever you want.

If you're a traditional Conan the Barbarian fan of either book, comic or film you may find this game's inaccurate depiction of everybody's favorite barbarian annoying. In this game he uses magic.

Yes, I show my true geek colors when I exclaim - everyone knows barbarians HATE MAGIC! In any of Howard's novels Conan might have donned a magic bracer picked from a freshly slain enemy but would throw it in disgust if it started glowing.

Somehow this turd got above average ratings. It was fun until the ledge puzzles got so bad I snapped my disc in two and cursed its developers. If there's a sequel I'll be interested but I hope to Crom they clear up a few of its problems.

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